Williams Sex Education – Lesson 1

The scene…

I have had a busy day at work, William is still in his school uniform – shirt hanging out, tie loose, jumper covered in … ??? whatever! All is quiet at the dining room table and we are focused on lamb chops with new potatoes. 

The conversation …

“… penis …” 

I glance up! and look at him – he’s eating …

“… foreskin …”

I look up again, but he is concentrating on his food …

There is silence for a moment while I am wondering what to say…

“Muuuum? We can only say penis and foreskin in PHSE lesson ….”

“Good” I say “it’s not the sort of thing to say in everyday conversation”

“we watched a video today about boys and girls bits – the proper name for stuff”

Okay!

“and what did you learn Will?” slowly chewing my new potato and thinking – this is going to be interesting …

Now – I have got a book on this sort of thing … how to communicate with boys … how not to have eye contact … how to let them focus on something else when telling a tale in order for them to spill what is on their minds …

“did you know that boys can get cheese behind their foreskin?” … silence for a second … “and I have to make sure that I wash it really well”

Mmmmm – unfortunately I did know

“ Muuuum?, how do you get cheese there???”

“I don’t think they actually mean the sort of cheese you eat Will…”

So we had a discussion about pulling his foreskin back when he’s in the shower … which was nice!!!!

“Muuuum?, did you know that girls … glancing to one side (– don’t ask me why!) … bleed from their front bottoms …?????”

“yep” acknowledged in a very negative way

Silence for a moment while he takes this in …

“Muuuum?, - do you???”

“yep”

At this point he sits back in his chair and looks gob smacked … (bless)

“… does Dad know???”

“… I think so” I said (but you never can tell)

William chews thoughtfully – and swallows his last mouthful – and says “when do you do that???”

Feign thinking for a moment … “every month”

“Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – he is really shocked “that’s just awful for you”

I do love him so much – he is just going to be a perfect boyfriend – haha

There is quiet again while he gets a yoghurt and some strawberrys

Dare I ask?? …“William - can you remember any names for the girls bits??”

He looks at me with creamy yogurt round his mouth – “Nah – you should know what those are – I don’t need to know ‘cos I’m a boy…”

Mmmmmm!

We have wet dreams to look forward to next week … I really can’t wait!!!